Patience

On my desk I have a tiny frame given to me by a student my first year of teaching third grade. Two fairies surrounded by flowers float around the edge and in it is a reminder I typed for myself years ago.

I first framed my mantra when I had stacks of correcting, first in elementary school, then in middle school where I had hundreds of pieces of writing from students in grades five through eight. Instead of letting myself be overwhelmed, I remembered: A little at a time. It is important to remember this when it comes to my writing.

I have always thought of myself as a patient person, which has been most helpful as a parent and a teacher, now as a grandparent, and always as a wife. As a writer, though, my patience often deserts me. In a first draft I sometimes find myself careening through a chapter instead of focusing as I should on all the small and important details that make the story richer. I get so involved sometimes in two characters having a conversation that I have pages of dialogue and not much else. These conversations are important and revealing for sure, but I know if I don’t slow down a bit and pay attention, I may miss something — a gesture, a smell or a sound, a look — details that can affect everything about the story.

I don’t have a specific word or page count that I strive for every day. Each day brings its responsibilities and demands on time, but as long as I write and feel I made progress, moved the story along and learned something about my characters, questioned things I thought I knew, it is a good day of writing.

As I revise, it is clear which pages I wrote a little too quickly and didn’t listen as closely as I should have. I’m patiently listening now, slowing down as I reread and retype and learn. A little at a time.

I’m Not Sure

A few weeks ago, I gave a friend a ride home from our writers’ group. Three of us had met and shared our writing and talked about experiences and processes, joys and challenges. One of the challenges we talked about was how it was difficult sometimes to just sit down and write, to move forward with our stores. On the drive, my friend asked why I thought it was difficult for me, why I sometimes resisted writing. My answer was vague, something that pretty much amounted to, “I’m not sure.”

I think about that conversation now and realize my response was right. After working on my second novel for more than a year, I’m not sure I know my characters well enough. And if I don’t know my characters well enough, how can I write their story? But then, if I don’t write the story, if I don’t put them in situations and let them talk and react, how can I get to know my characters better? I can’t.

I have read many books and articles and have been to workshops about character development, about writing descriptions of characters, putting them in hypothetical situations, about filling out questionnaires, even exploring their zodiac signs. I don’t think any of these approaches or exercises are without merit; they could provide valuable insights for sure. But for me, besides having characters in my head, I need to see them in the story I am writing. I need to see them in situations that come up in this particular story. Their story.

While I am writing, though, I need to be very careful that their words and actions are true in the situations that unfold. I need to be very careful that I don’t have them react the way I think they should, the way I or someone I know would, but I have to let them say and do what they will. Such a fine line between being the author of a story and letting the characters be in charge, but so it goes.

I recently finished reading Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. I love that book. I love the power and honesty of the stories and the richness of every one of the characters. I heard Elizabeth Strout tell Oprah recently that her character, Olive, came to her “fully formed.” Fully formed. My immediate thought was how fortunate Elizabeth Strout was. For me, it is a much slower process, but a deliberate one, and I realize I am just as fortunate as Elizabeth Strout. It is more gradual, like a picture slowly developing, but eventually, when I persist, my characters become fully formed for me as well.

So, being unsure is not such a terrible thing, unless I let it stop me from showing up to write. Instead, I can use it to move forward, to give my characters a complex world to live in, trusting them to engage with their world and each other and reveal themselves more and more, just as they trust me to get it right.

Turning Points and Transitions

It’s the last day of August, fall coming on just a little too quickly, but welcome just the same.

A major focus for the past nine months has been on marketing and promoting A Better Life. What in my mind was a necessary evil became a joyful, enlightening and rewarding experience. The book launch, the book clubs, the press release, the readings and book signings, getting the book into independent bookstores, the newspaper and radio interviews, were all more than I ever thought I could do and more enjoyable than I ever anticipated. Now it is time to step back from promotion and return my energy and focus to my new novel.

The working title right now is A Thousand Secrets. It is too young, too early to talk about the story yet. There is a lot of work to be done and much to discover. It will take time. My goal is to have it published by December 2020. Whether I will find an agent willing to represent me and my work or whether I publish independently again remains to be seen.

It feels like just the right time for a transition. It feels like a new start. It feels like I have accomplished exactly what I had hoped for with A Better Life, to have people reading it and talking about it. I am so grateful to be on this journey of writing to publishing to marketing and back. Just like our four seasons, it is a cycle, and with the end of this season comes the beginning of another.

Publicity

When the press release for A Better Life was sent out by Beth D’Ovidio at the New Hampshire Writers Project, it was picked up and published by The Eagle Times in Claremont, as well as The Concord Monitor, and also resulted in an interview and article in HippoPress. Having such support and assistance with marketing from the NHWP almost makes me feel like I have an agent. There was also a wonderful feature article this past week published by my local newspaper, The Lowell Sun. All this publicity is not only exciting, but has resulted in a number of encouraging things: a bump in sales, some wonderful Facebook reactions and posts, phone calls and texts of congratulations. The biggest impact so far, though, has been on this site, with a dramatic increase in visits and views. It didn’t take much reflection to realize I need to increase my own participation and drive in promotion and publicity, not just of my work, but of myself as a writer.

After an 8-day trip to Ireland and a conscious decision to step away from the new novel for that time and look at it with fresh eyes when I returned, I am at the lake once again immersed in the story. I am also determined to finish and publish this post and make some plans and goals for further promotion.

When I return to Lowell tomorrow, I will begin reaching out to libraries to ask not only if they would carry my book, but about arranging readings and book signings. I also plan to work more diligently on this site, posting more frequently and finding ways to increase my followers. And in the back of my mind, there’s Twitter, something I have been avoiding for a number of reasons. I still don’t feel quite ready to dive into that yet. Every step I take on this journey, no matter how small it may seem, is an accomplishment to be celebrated.

Motivation

When I began teaching, I was thrilled at how intrinsically motivated my third-graders were. They were excited about learning new things and I did my best to nurture their passion. There was a lot of discussion and controversy at the time about giving rewards to students for learning and how it could affect them in the future. It seemed to me as a novice teacher that rewarding students with prizes or parties could diminish their natural, intrinsic motivation and they would learn and work hard only if there was some kind of tangible reward.

As a new author with my first published book out in the world and working on my second, I am finding that rewards go a long way in motivating me to work even harder — on my writing, my marketing, virtually my whole writing career. My granddaughter Leah recently asked me if I was going to get rich from my book. I smiled and told her no, and explained that wasn’t why I wrote and published, that I love writing and telling a story and am just happy people are reading my book. The rewards that motivate me are not as tangible as money.

I was contacted recently by Prudence Brighton, a freelance writer who wanted to interview me for a feature article in The Lowell Sun. This was my first interview as an author. Yesterday, I had a telephone interview with Angie Sykeny, a reporter from HippoPress, a New Hampshire weekly. Discussing and answering questions about A Better Life, talking about the story, the characters, my writing process, my background, was an incredibly motivating reward.

I am forever grateful to and motivated by everyone who takes the time to read and discuss my novel, my blog, and the articles that will soon appear in The Lowell Sun and HippoPress, with hopefully more to come. I was wrong all those years ago when I believed motivation had to come totally from within. There can be a beautiful balance.