Believing it Into Being

Last night I pressed the “publish” button for A Better Life. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting — balloons to fall from the ceiling? Applause? What I received was a message that now it is “under review.” It was a bit anti-climactic to say the least. But I reminded myself that I am another step closer to being a published author and I will hear from them within 72 hours, hopefully with the date of its release. Then the promotion begins!

I have a quote by Robert Frost on the bulletin board above my desk, surrounded by pictures of my grandchildren. It is from an address he gave to students at Amherst College, where he talks about four beliefs, one of which is:

” . . . the literary belief, in every work of art, not of cunning and craft, mind you, but of real art; that believing the thing into existence, saying as you go more than you ever hoped you were going to be able to say, and coming with surprise to an end that you foreknew only with some sort of emotion.”

I always believed Margaret and Jenny had a story, and as I attempted to write it and as they revealed more and more of themselves to me, I came to believe that I was chosen to tell it. Writing their story was full of emotion and surprises, right up to two nights ago, as I thought about Jenny. I thought about the ending and realized someone else was there at the very end, a person I believe will make a difference in Jenny’s life. Funny how I hadn’t known before, and here I was acknowledging her presence only the morning of the day I pressed the “publish” button. I feel better now. I may always worry a little about Jenny and Margaret, but maybe not as much now.

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