Tag: writing process

Struggling?

This word is used a lot. People struggle with their feelings, struggle with a problem, struggle with finances, struggle with beliefs. If someone were to ask how my writing is going, right now I would say I’m struggling. It’s early in this new novel, early in the process of getting to know new characters, trying to build their worlds. It’s a daunting task. But struggling?

When I looked it up, the definition I found was, “forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or constriction.” Restraint? Maybe. Constriction? Kind of. But forceful or violent? I don’t think so. Writing can be difficult for sure, but the rewards of having put words on paper that tell a story, portray characters in a way that makes readers feel something far outweigh these feelings of being inadequate and lost.

Instead of a forceful or violent effort, I’m taking a simpler and gentler approach, one that I believe will work for me. I’m starting again. I realize I have become much too attached to what I have written so far, so attached I have become reluctant to admit it’s not working, that it’s not good enough, strong enough or genuine enough to support the rest of the story. I know better, but I have been doing it anyway.

It’s like when you’re going somewhere, whether it’s to a physical place or an event, and you start having second thoughts. You have a feeling you should turn around, and even when the feelings get stronger you keep going, maybe telling yourself, Well, I’ve gone this far . . . The last thing you want to do is turn around and go back, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need to do. Maybe not all the way back to the beginning, but where you took that turn or went right at the fork when you should have gone left. Or maybe, like me, a new beginning is exactly what is needed.

As a writer, I know I need to be willing to go all the way back to that very first sentence, examine what I’ve written as closely and objectively as I can, and let go of what doesn’t work. I know that out of these thirty or so pages I have put time and effort and heart into there will be a sentence, a character’s thought or observation, maybe a paragraph that is real and true and belongs in the telling of this story.

I already feel better knowing this, having this plan to begin again, instead of struggling to work with what I have been desperately trying to hold onto that isn’t working. I will continue to work every day, doing my best to develop a solid understanding of the truth of this story, holding onto the belief that I can eventually trust where I’m going.

A Sense of Direction

Many people who know me know I have a poor sense of direction. While we sometimes refer to our older son as “the human map,” I am pretty much the opposite. When I am finding my way in a strange place (without the benefit of GPS), whether on a street or in a building, it’s a safe bet that whichever direction I think I should go is wrong. Almost always, it’s the other way. I am finding this is true as I begin my third novel.

I am slowly, but pretty surely, finding my way into the first seedlings of this story–writing the draft, writing about writing the draft, as well as thinking and daydreaming about my characters and what they want. It’s all part of the work and world of writing.

Each morning I go over what I’ve written the day before, and this early in the process, as I make my way in the near-dark, I find myself changing some details to the opposite of what’s on yesterday’s page.

This morning, I realized two of the new characters, people I am just getting to know, are not who I thought they were (or who I tried to make them be). The boy I thought was a nice, normal kid, maybe even a little too good, isn’t. And the man I thought was a shady and even dangerous guy, isn’t so bad. There is, of course, a possibility these early characters won’t even make it into the final draft. Or they will reveal themselves to be crucial to the story. Just as with any journey, I need to keep going as I find the right and true direction, and have faith I will get there.

Oh, and the working title for this novel? A Detour Home.