Where I Left Off

Each time I open the document I am working on most, my new novel, a little flag appears on the bottom right, welcoming me back and encouraging me — Pick up where you left off. Then it tells me exactly when I was last there. It can be 32 minutes or 6 hours or a day, or it can be two or three days or even a week. I used to feel a little guilty, that I wasn’t working hard enough, that I had abandoned my work. I needed to remind myself that at this point in the writing process, even when I am not on the computer, I am writing.

I may be writing new pages in my notebook or I may be reviewing and editing the last chapter I wrote, or I may just be thinking, asking myself questions, picturing the characters talking or looking at something, and I wonder. As I drive to my grandson’s school in Billerica, I wonder how my characters feel about driving; as I scrub a pan or wipe down the counters, I wonder how they feel about cleaning; and as I cook dinner, I wonder how they feel about cooking. When I pick up the mail, I wonder what they got in their mail that day and if they know their mail carrier.

Sometimes they tell me right away and give me a deeper sense of who they are and I make pages of notes. Sometimes I don’t get answers right away, but it still helps to ask the questions that usually lead to more questions. And if I continue to question and listen hard enough, they will be answered in time.

I need to remind myself that until I have a first draft, much of the writing won’t be done on the computer. It will be done by hand and heart and head. After completing one novel, I have come to develop a profound respect for the process. At this point, where I left off is only part of the story.

On the Shelves

This weekend my husband and I and one of our granddogs went up to our house on Lake Todd in Newbury, NH. It is where I do much of my writing and where I continue to be inspired and focused. As my work on the new novel continued, the marketing and promotion continued as well, with visits to two local, community bookstores: MainStreet BookEnds in Warner (www.mainstreetbookends.com) and Morgan Hill Bookstore in New London (www.morganhillbookstore.com). I wasn’t sure what to expect or even exactly what I would say, but my goal was to have A Better Life on their shelves.

I started at MainStreet BookEnds, a magical place in Warner. It was Saturday afternoon when we walked in and I said to the owner, Katharine, “I have a question. Do you take self published books by local authors?” Yes.

She graciously took three copies on consignment. She asked me to sign them, then she put a sticker on the cover that said it was signed by the author. She put one right on the shelf, facing out for all the world to see. While I am happy to have it available on Amazon, for it to have a place in a bookstore has brought it to a whole new level.

The next day, I went to New London, to the Morgan Hill Book Store, another wonderful community bookstore. With a little more confidence this time, I told the woman behind the counter, Jolie, that I was a local author with a published book and wondered if they would be willing to take some books on consignment. Yes. This store was a little busier at the time, so I didn’t get to see it on the shelf, but she took two copies and wished me well and after I left there I stopped at Bubba’s Restaurant and wrote before I went back to my house on the lake.

My first novel is on the shelves in two incredible, family-owned community bookstores in New Hampshire, and I am so grateful to have such amazing opportunities to reach readers, one (or two, or three) at a time.

Emotion

Ten years ago, in one of the many pubs we visited in Ireland, I requested “Danny Boy.” My father’s song. After the set, I thanked the singer and he said, “I saw the smile then I saw the tears and I knew I had done my job.”

Now that quite a few people have read A Better Life, I am hearing many comments about their experiences with the story, and I am so grateful to hear the engagement and the emotion.

One of the most heartfelt comments came from a friend who is as honest and straightforward as a person can be. “I finished your book.” Her face told me she didn’t like it and I was about to hear why, but it turned out she was not only upset about Margaret and what she had gone through, but the fact that I was able to write it. “It bothered me,” she said. “It was disturbing that you could know what that child was feeling.”

Another friend told me how angry she was about what Jenny had done and many have expressed their strong feelings towards Gene, as well as their sympathy for Margaret. What I love hearing most of all is when readers want to know what and how Jenny and Margaret are doing now and if I am going to write a sequel. I would love to, and I believe there is a very good chance.

I am very grateful my characters are evoking such strong reactions and emotions, similar to every time I hear “Danny Boy.” It helps me believe I have done my job.

Just Write

I saw one of my former middle school students last summer. She was working as a hostess at a restaurant while pursuing her degree at Middlesex Community College. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she thinks of me every time she sits down to write a paper for school.

“Even if I have no idea where it’s going, I just write. That’s what you always told us. Just write. So that’s what I do and it always works.”

Wise girl.

I have told this to hundreds of students over the years, and it is exactly what I need to remember when I sit down to write and don’t have a clear and definite knowing of where I am going. The act of writing, putting pen to paper or fingers on the keys encourages thoughts and details to come out and eventually something meaningful will emerge — a single sentence that leads to another, a paragraph that makes you feel something. I told them about the joy I experience when I am writing and something surprises me, when a character does or says something I didn’t expect. Students were skeptical at first, but they always liked that idea because there is something magical about it. Sometimes in class a student would exclaim, “Mrs. Murphy! It just happened to me, what you said about being surprised!” And I knew it was true because of the light in the student’s eyes and the way the pencil continued to fly across the paper.

Writing is discovering. Writing is sitting with a blank piece of paper and creating something that has never existed before. That is something else I shared with my students that inspired them to put their own words on paper. It is magic that both children and adults can believe in. The act of creation. Good or bad, we do our best at the time with what we have within us and what we are brave enough to share.

It is a gift to have my words come back to me exactly when I need them.

I’m Not Lost

Sometimes I feel so lost I can’t take one more step.

I am somewhere in the new story. I realized yesterday I am losing my characters, which tells me I have written something not true, so not true that the people whose stories I am supposed to tell are turning their backs on me, and I don’t blame them. It is time to stop, go back to the beginning so I can see more clearly what my characters are trying to tell me. They want to tell me who they are and I need to listen.

The marketing and promotion of A Better Life is different now than just three weeks ago. It doesn’t have that brand-new feeling anymore. A lot of people have bought the book, for which I am forever grateful, and now I am getting some reactions and comments. I welcome them all. I am looking forward to meeting with two book clubs in the next few months and hearing comments, answering questions as best I can, and discussing the story and characters.

I am not lost forever. I am looking ahead and even though I don’t see a well-defined, clear trail ahead, that doesn’t mean I am lost. It means I can make choices and look for different ways of promoting A Better Life that make sense in my mind and heart. And it means there is a lot of room for my new cast of characters to come alive.